How to Make This Single Girl Fall Your Best Season Ever

The fall is officially here! Even though summer has my heart, I won’t lie – I do love fall fashion, warm cider drinks, & events around the city. It’s such a refreshing time of year with so much to do. But… sometimes it doesn’t feel that way when you’re single. #fallbymyself 😦 Sometimes girls just want to cuddle, be cuddled, sip hot cocoa and watch movies in matching PJ’s with a cutie they care about.

There are plenty of autumn’s past where I remember feeling just blahhh. Like, I want to enjoy some of these events and outings with someone! I’d have random dates every once in a while, or think something was going to be promising.. then God would step in like Nah… that’s not even yours. #HeWasRightThough

Even though I don’t regret what I learned from some of those nights alone & bored, what I do regret is wasting so much time waiting instead of getting out there and doing what I wanted regardless of whether or not I had a man do some of those things with.

Dating in the age of social media is a whole different game, sis! Believe me I get it. But there are things you can do in the fall to still have FUN!

Catch Up on Fall TV Shows. Ummm the FINAL season of How to Get Away with Murder just started! Binge the last 5 seasons and join some discussion groups on Facebook about your fave shows. This is the best especially on nights when its too cold to go out or you just need some chill ‘me’ time.

Make & Keep Plans with Your FRIENDS. Being single isn’t a prison sentence. Sometimes we put ourselves in solitary confinement when don’t have a man do to stuff with. Sis, go to some of those events with your friends! Take the lead in planning a night out with your girls!

Werkkk…. on Your Goals. Fall is the start of the LAST quarter of the year. Knock out all the goals you have set for yourself. Get it right and tight at the gym! Read that book you’ve been putting off. Start classes. Do whatever you told yourself you would! YOU owe it to you to keep your word.

Just Go do Fall Tings By Yo’Self. It’s nothing at all wrong with being out and about exploring on your own. Get to know yourself again, date yourself, really focus on your own thoughts. It’s an amazing feeling when you realize you don’t NEED anyone but you. That’s actually the time when you’re ready for someone else to come along.  In Chicago, my favorite spots to venture off to by myself are Millennium Park (to people watch lol), any good pizza spot #Pizzaislife, or just wandering around Hyde Park.

“There are some places in life where you can only go alone. Embrace the beauty of your solo journey.”

So take some time to fall in love this fall – with you. You’re worth it sis. 🙂

XOXO ❤
Celesha

What are your go to fall activities? Do you venture out solo?

How to Forgive When They Didn’t Say Sorry…

Forgive: To stop feeling angry or resentful toward someone for an offense, flaw or mistake.

We all have needed to forgive – as human beings, it’s a universal experience. People wrong us, and we decide if it’s something we can forgive. They say sorry, we say it’s okay. Even if it isn’t okay sometimes, we still forgive people. Usually it’s simply because they asked. & that’s how a lot of us were raised. I can think of a few times when my brothers would annoy me lol – they’d have to say sorry. & I’d have to say I forgive you. Or we’d have to hug it out (I know my parents aren’t the only ones who did this lol).

It’s just always been the process.

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 But what about the times when you don’t hear sorry? I can remember being upset for trivial things, and if I didn’t hear sorry I would brush it off. Or hold a fake grudge. #Shrugs #KidsWillBeKids

But now.. After experiencing things that truly hurt at my core, I got to a point where I felt like I NEEDED to hear sorry for stuff. Like, wasn’t everyone raised that way? When you hurt someone, you just say sorry. & when I didn’t get that apology, I didn’t know how to deal. How do I begin to move forward without closure? Or being given the opportunity to forgive at all?

After torturing myself by waiting for an apology I wasn’t ever going to receive, I realized that I didn’t need to be given an opportunity to forgive. I had the power to do that on my own.

Ladies, sometimes we really forget how amazing and powerful we really are.

Although it took a while for me to realize I had the power, realizing it was the easy part. It took werrkk to carry it out. Reminder – With great power comes great responsibility. Having power isn’t the hard part, it’s the work that’s assigned to your power. But that’s a message for another day. #ComingSoon

To get back on track before I sidebar any further, here are ways to truly forgive without hearing sorry:

Sis, You’ve Needed Forgiveness Before Too – It’s sooo easy to remember the ways someone wronged us, but can you remember a time when you were the one doing dirt & needing to say sorry? Was it hard to say it, if you even said it at all? Or did you justify your wrongdoings? It’s easier to accept the fact that you may not hear sorry when you realize you’ve probably skipped out on some apologies that you’ve owed too.

Letting Go – If I’m being honest with myself, the reason I wanted to hear sorry soo badly was because I thought it was the first step in fixing everything & making it go back to normal. Like, if he isn’t admitting he’s wrong how can I forgive him? & if I can’t forgive him how can we fix the relationship? But… everything that’s broken isn’t meant to be fixed. Sometimes we have to just let it go. When I stopped wanting what couldn’t be, and really really let go, I was able to forgive because I wasn’t expecting anything on the other side of it. It was just to heal me. Not heal a broken relationship. Embrace the now, not the could be’s.

Forgiving Yourself – Sometimes we want to hear sorry so badly because we don’t want to admit we were wrong about something or someone. & when you’re waiting on forgiveness for one thing, a million new things can be happening that you’ll want to hear more sorry’s for! Then it’s to a point where you have to keep waiting on a sorry just so you don’t look stupid. But sis, you have to forgive yourself for allowing things you knew you didn’t deserve. It’s almost impossible to forgive anyone else if you can’t forgive yourself. End the viscous cycle now so you can get back to you.

Forgiveness is for you. It’s a selfish act, but it’s one of those times when selfishness is good for you.

& if you really think about it… What if you had heard ‘sorry’? Would that have changed anything? It probably would’ve just dragged lies out further. I know it would’ve for me.

I knew what forgiveness meant. But I needed to learn how to do it without hearing sorry. Remember your power. Remember your crown. & remember that forgiveness is always for you, not them.

XOXO!

Celesha

Have you ever had to forgive without an apology? How did you deal?

Self-Care is More than Scented Candles

Author: Dosya J. 

As owner of The Sweet Decor, self-care is tied to my business from a consumerism stand-point as it relates to certain products sold in my store. As a person that deals with anxiety, I am wise to the fact that genuine self-care is not limited to consumerism. Continue reading Self-Care is More than Scented Candles

I’m not mad at you.

I’m not sure why, but these past few weeks I’ve been so focused on self-love. As women, we tend to put everything before us, and I’m starting to realize the value in putting myself first in certain situations. We give to our partners, kids, jobs, families, etc. and use whatever’s left of us to keep going. & it isn’t always enough. We end up so close to empty operating this way. Continue reading I’m not mad at you.